


What happens in between

by murmeltearding



Series: Gotham weirdness [3]
Category: Gotham (TV), Watch Dogs (Video Games)
Genre: Alcohol, Attempt at Humor, Bad Jokes, Canon-Typical Violence, Crack Crossover, Crack Relationships, Crying, Drama, Drugs, Explicit Language, F/M, Face Punching, Fucking, Gardens & Gardening, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Language, Multi, Nudity, Polyamory, Recreational Drug Use, Teasing, Unprotected Sex, Weird Fluff, Wet & Messy, attempted threesome F/M/M, lots of love, weird crossover, weird spin off, witty exchanges
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-06-25 06:19:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19739986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/murmeltearding/pseuds/murmeltearding
Summary: Phil brings home an old friend he met in another life. Alex knows the friend as well. Weirdness ensues





	1. So we meet again.

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Detective and the Cleaner, a modern day fairytale](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18531640) by [murmeltearding](https://archiveofourown.org/users/murmeltearding/pseuds/murmeltearding), [reallifewaitressmia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reallifewaitressmia/pseuds/reallifewaitressmia). 



> This is kind of a spin off to another story I wrote, with the same original characters, and a bit of a weird crossover...  
> Since my other story has a time gap of 4 years, I wondered what my OCs have been up to in the meantime. It doesn't fit with the main story, but I liked the idea and thought it might be fun.

It was quiet in apartment 4B in Cameron Street 24. Phil, Alex’s roommate, had gone out around lunch and told her he wouldn’t be back until late, which had meant precious, precious alone time for her.

Having a roommate was nice most of the time. She hated being alone, but it severely cut down on her girl-time; which was why Alex had used the day wisely. She had spent the afternoon pampering herself, reading a few chapters of a cringe worthy, cheesy, guy on guy Victorian era romance novel while eating ice cream straight from the container and after that having a long, hot bath with no interruptions while… reminiscing on her favorite scenes from aforementioned novel. Her skin felt smooth and soft and once her facial mask came off, her face would be glowing… or so it had said on the packaging.

She was chilling on the sofa, face down, feet up, leafing through the latest issue of Wonder Woman, a half smoked joint in the ash tray on the table and an empty can of beer right next to it. If this would have been any other city, the sun would slowly be sinking down towards the horizon at this time of day and bathe the living room in warm, soft light. This wasn’t any other city though. This was Gotham, so it was cloudy and gloomy. The sun hadn’t been out for weeks. The warm, soft light came from the floor lamp Alex had bought a few days ago.

She wore a washed out T-Shirt that had probably been black at one point, a pair of kitty print panties and neither pants nor bra. Pure comfort.

She sighed when she heard Phil unlock the door. Girl-time was over.

“Hey umm… do you mind if a friend crashes here for a couple nights?” Phil said before the door had even fallen shut. He turned on the ceiling light and destroyed her carefully created idyll.

“Sure, if it’s really only a couple nights…” Alex muttered, barely looking up at him. She only had a few more pages to go.

Phil stepped outside again, holding the door open. “She said it’s okay, come in, man!”

“What, you mean starting right NOW? Some warning would have been nice!” She brought her arms and legs under her, trying and failing to stare Phil down.

“Of course I meant starting right now. Why else would I ask? You got something on your face, by the way,” he snorted, pointing at her mask.

“Fuck you too!” She got up from the sofa and hurried towards the bathroom.

“Oy! Prison girl!” Wrench stepped inside, ^.^ showing on his mask. They had first met months ago, and spent a night together in a prison cell. They’d gotten to talking and Alex had later found out, Phil and her prison acquaintance Wrench were friends. “Alex it is, right? So good to meet you again… and in freedom this time!” He proceeded to look her up and down, his mask switching to *.* when he reached her bare legs and back to ^.^ when he came back up to her face. “I mean… I liked you when you were dressed and angry, but damn! I like you even better when you’re half undressed and relaxed!” he said and with what was probably a wink, on his display, ~.* he added: “Cute… pussy… uh… pussies.” He was a little shorter than Phil and equally skinny, dressed in all black but with much fewer studs than when she’d last seen him. His backpack was probably black as well, but so dirty and used, Alex wouldn’t have sworn to that.

“Umm… thanks?” she muttered, pulling her shirt down so it would cover her panties. “Just gimme a second, I’ll go get dressed and washed up a bit…”

“You don’t have to on my account…” Wrench shrugged, “the getting dressed part I mean… I’m all for the washing up!” He gave her an enthusiastic thumbs-up.

“Yea, sure… whatever…” Alex smiled at him awkwardly. She’d have to talk to Phil about bringing people home unannounced… male people she happened to find cute especially.

She washed her face and quickly put on a bra and a pair of bootie shorts that made her ass look perfectly juicy, to use Phil’s words, before she went out to join the guys again.

The guys had made themselves comfortable on the sofa with some beers and were smoking the rest of her joint.

She sat with them but kept out of the conversation and finished her comic book instead, taking the joint when they offered and stealing a sip from Phil’s beer every now and then.

“You know we got beer in the fridge, right?” Phil complained.

“Yea, but it’s all the way over there and I’m sitting here…”

“You can have some of mine…” Wrench said and proceeded to crawl towards Alex on all fours, careless about Phil’s protestations as he clumsily moved over his lap. He plopped down between the two, wriggling his ass in between them and making himself comfortable again. “I like that… sitting between the two of you…” He leaned back and put his arms on the backrest of the sofa like he owned the place. “Makes me think of other… pleasant things the three of us could do.”

Alex snorted. “Sure… keep on dreaming. Phil and I, we’re like water and oil. We don’t mix…”

“Add some emulsifier and they go together just fine,” Wrench countered.

“Whoa… nerd alert!” Phil said, moving away far enough so everyone could sit comfortably again. “But that was fucking smooth, man, I gotta give you that!”

They spent the evening chatting companionably, getting drunk and drunker. Wrench had to lift his mask every time he took a sip from his beer and Alex caught a glimpse of a sharp jaw every now and then, but not much more.

Wrench became more touchy feely with both of them with each beer he had. He made no secret of his sexuality and mentioned more than once how he didn’t care which of them he’d go to bed with. Well… Alex would not be it. Not tonight, at least.

Shortly after midnight, she told the guys she’d go to bed. “Don’t make any noise when you… do whatever it is you guys do,” she muttered. “I need my beauty sleep!”

+++

Someone must be using a chainsaw in their living room. The level of the noise was unbelievable. Alex woke up despite a few walls separating her from the source. It was a miracle how anyone could produce such snores without suffocating.

Padding out of her room on bare feet, she moved into the living room where Wrench had made his quarters. He was on the sofa, sprawled all out on his back, his mouth wide open, snoring. He had pulled off his shirt and jeans and carelessly tossed both to the ground. His blanket barely covered his midsection and nicely showed off his slim, tattoed body. Arms, chest, legs and all. Both his nipples were pierced as well.

Much more importantly though: His mask was on the table, leaving his face bare.

Alex sneaked towards him careful not to make a noise, not that that would have made a difference, with the sheer volume of his snoring. She stopped about an arm’s length from him and bent over him to get a look at his face. His ashy blond hair hid most of his forehead and part of the left side of his face. He looked older than she’d thought he was and the sheen of beard she had glimpsed earlier was really only that… the barest sheen around his jawline, nothing more. It was too dark to make out many details but she liked what she saw.

Turning around to inspect the mask, she grazed his bent knee with hers.

Without a warning, his arm darted out and caught her by the wrist. He opened his eyes and blinked a few times before he started talking. “You see the face, you have to meet the lips!” His voice sounded odd without the synthesizer. He seemed far less edgy and much more approachable without the mask.

“Yea?” Alex said.

He lifted himself up on his elbows and nodded up at her. “It’s the law.”

“Must be a new one. When did it come into effect?”

“About 30 seconds ago.”

“Hm…” Alex made and sat down on the edge of the sofa, “well, I wouldn’t want to go around breaking laws…”

“Yea, you really shouldn’t.”

“Okay then. I guess I’ll have to…” she shrugged, playing along with him. In reality, she had made up her mind within a second of him walking in: If she’d get a chance, she’d kiss, fuck, whatever him. And if she was going to do it, she was going to do it right. She climbed on top of him, straddling him with her legs.

Wrench’s eyes went all big.

Going down on all fours, she gave him the tiniest peck on the lips and waited for his reaction. Being this close, she noticed a dark spot around his left eye, mostly hidden by his hair. Before she could start wondering about it though, he grabbed her and pulled her down again. For a real kiss. And boy did he know what he was doing. He’d obviously had a lot of practice. His hands on her back were strong, his tongue eager and quick. It made Alex wonder if he was as good at other things besides kissing.

Soon her hands found their way around his slim back as well, through his hair, down over his chest, into his boxers… his hands had nothing on hers and he eagerly pulled her shirt over her head so he could explore her body as well, very thoroughly, with hands and mouth and tongue.

“Do you want to…“ he muttered breathlessly, tracing the edge of her panties with a long, skinny finger.

“Only if you want…” Alex wriggled her eyebrows at him, rubbing up and down against him, kissing his mouth and jaw and neck.

“Of fucking course I want!” He turned them both around so he was on top. He was much stronger than he looked. Without any more ado, he pushed her panties to the side and entered her in one smooth movement that made them both catch their breath.

He moved in and out a couple of times.

Alex froze.

“You okay?” He muttered, slowing down his movements, looking her in the eyes.

“Umm… are you wearing a condom?”

“Shit was I supposed to?”

“Well, kinda…”

“You want me to stop?”

Alex took a deep inhale. Then an exhale. When she still hadn’t come up with anything sensible to say, she took another inhale. “Just… pull out before you finish.”

“Alright! I can do that!” He confidently nodded to himself and eagerly started moving again.

He wasn’t very well endowed, but what he lacked in size, he made up for in technique… and enthusiasm. The piercing he had at the base of his dick was also immensely stimulating. It hit just the right spot with each thrust. Alex was a firm believer of giving credit where credit was due and noisily showed her pleasure.

“Could you maybe keep it down a little?” Phil suddenly said from behind them.

Wrench gave a deep moan and then a shudder and collapsed on top of her with one final thrust.

Alex’s eyes went wide. “Did you just….”

Wrench nodded the tiniest of nods. “Sorry…”

Alex roughly pushed him away.

Her shove made him tumble over the edge of the sofa and he landed on the floor between sofa and table with a thump. As much as she wanted to run off, she didn’t yet trust her legs. “Fucking asshole!” she hissed, giving his shoulder another weak shove.  
It didn’t feel satisfying at all.

“Sorry, this was just… this was always kind of a fantasy and I… got lost in the moment…” Wrench apologized again. He still sat on the ground, lounging half against the sofa, breathing hard.

Phil stood over them, laughing like the idiot he was.

“Will you stop fucking laughing,” Alex hissed.

“I will tell this story every occasion I get, for the rest of my fucking life!” Phil doubled over with another bout of laughter. Wrench, dick still out, climbed back up on the sofa and joined in with him.

“So glad you’re having fun on my account!” Alex muttered sarcastically. She grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around herself so she could at least pretend she had some dignity left. She slapped Wrench away, when he tried kissing her once again and clumsily made it to her feet.

+++

When Alex came out of her room the next morning, Phil and Wrench were nowhere to be seen. A small paper bag from a pharmacy with a folded note sat on the kitchen counter.

_Dear Alex,_  
_sorry I defiled_  
_your beautiful vagina_  
_hope we can still fuck,_  
_love Wrench_

It was written in the crappiest, most illegible handwriting she’d ever seen, but it was most definitely a haiku. That was kind of cute.

She reached into the bag and found a small box with the morning after pill and a big box of condoms. No one could say he wasn’t honest with his intentions.


	2. Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trio becomes closer.  
> Alex starts a new hobby  
> Wet T-Shirts  
> Harvey finds out about them and has trouble wrapping his head around it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I've never been in, or written a polyamorous relationship before, but this is how I'd imagine it would be. Lots of love, communication, openness... there'll be more of it in the next few chapters as well...  
> please let me know in case I've misrepresented anything, it definitely wasn't my intention!  
> I support love in all its various shapes!

“Why are you still wearing your work clothes? Shower’s free!” Phil shot Alex a look over his shoulder. He was in the kitchen, making food, all cleaned up and already in his leisure wear, a.k.a. his Kimono. It was tightly tied for a change and Alex was safe from being flashed for the moment.

They had come back from their job half an hour earlier, but Alex had something more to do before she got to relax as well. “I’m going gardening,” she proudly replied.

“Sorry, what?” Phil turned towards her, revealing a half smeared PB&J he had been in the process of making. He casually leaned against the counter and licked his knife.

“I asked Bruce if I could put a couple containers on the roof so I can grow stuff! He said he doesn’t mind, soooo… I’m a gardener now.” Alex beamed. She had been waiting all day to go up to her new oasis.

“When did this happen?”

“I started like a week ago. First sprouts were spotted yesterday.”

“How didn’t I know? What kind of stuff do you grow?”

“I did it on my own… you don’t know everything that’s going on in my life,” Alex shrugged, “and I’m not growing the kind of plants you’d care about anyways, sooo...”

“Who’s growing what?” Wrench came out of Phil’s room, wearing a pair of loose black boxers and a smile. He’d taken to leaving off his mask while he was home. It was much more comfortable in case of surprise smooching.The scar around his left eye had been disturbing the first time seeing it, but it really wasn’t a reason to hide his face behind a mask all day long, as far as Alex was concerned.

“Alex got a new hobby,” Phil explained, focusing back on his food. “Want one too?” he asked, lifting the jar of peanut butter over his shoulder for Wrench to see.

Wrench eagerly nodded and hurried into the kitchen, hugging Phil from behind, watching his hands over his shoulder.

“So you’re gonna be on the roof?” Phil stopped Alex once more. Her hand was already on the doorknob.

She nodded. “Come see me when you’re done eating!”

+++

Wrench had been staying with them for a few weeks, as opposed to the few days they’d initially agreed on. Alex didn’t mind. They had enough space and Wrench had taken to sharing their beds instead of sleeping on the couch, so the living room remained functional.  
It had been weird at first, knowing full well, Wrench was having sex with both of them, but then, he’d never made a secret out of it and neither Alex nor Phil could complain about him not being as attentive a lover as anyone could wish for.

Alex hadn’t been sure what had moved her to want to plant a garden, but the more she’d thought about it, the more she had realized she felt at home for the first time in her life. She felt save and snug, living with her best friend and their shared lover. They had a warm, secure roof over their heads and the fridge was always full and between them, they had more love than she’d ever dared to dream of. She was nesting.

She had found and bought a few mismatching containers and had arranged them along one of the air ventilation shafts on the roof before filling them with earth and wildly strewing whatever seeds she’d found at the garden center into them. She had no idea which plants preferred which conditions and no intention of reading up on it.

The last time she’d done any gardening was when her mother had made her weed the vegetable bed as a child. She had been so little though, all she remembered was how much she’d hated it.

Having her own garden was something entirely different though. Some wise man (or had it been a woman?) had once said “To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow.” She understood that sentiment now and felt it in her heart.

The door opening made her come back from her ponderings. She looked up from where she’d been studying one of the tiny green sprouts.

“Doesn’t look very garden-y.” Phil assessed, looking around. “I thought you’d make this a huge farm, with how you’ve grown up as a Cowgirl.” He was still in his Kimono. The slight breeze on the roof and Alex sitting on the ground, her head below his waist-level was a bad combination.

Alex sighed. “I didn’t grow up on a farm and you know it. You’ve been there, Phil. And I’ll make it bigger if it works out…” She got to her feet and reached for the watering can.

“Yea, but I just love teasing you about it!” Phil moved towards her in a few long steps and put his free arm around her shoulder, giving her a quick squeeze before Alex could slap him away.

He proceeded to sit down in the lone rusty deck chair Alex had found, eating his sandwich. Wrench, dressed in his usual black shirt and ripped jeans, joined him, sitting on the ground by his feet.

“Sure, go ahead and watch me work. You don’t have to help me…” Alex muttered in mock annoyance.

“Pf… we’re just here for the atmosphere. If you want us to watch you, you gotta make a bit more of an effort… Wet T-shirt contest or something like that, if you’d ask me off the top of my head,” Wrench muttered, taking a bite from his PB&J and leaning back to enjoy the sunshine on his face.

“I… didn’t ask, but now that you mentioned it… how about you do that, instead of me… I bet Phil would appreciate that too…” Alex retorted.

Phil leaned back in the chair and crossed his legs, nodding eagerly. “It’s two against one, sorry, baby…”

“This fucking body is both a blessing and a curse, I’m telling you!” Wrench slowly got to his feet, handing his plate to Phil and wiping his hands on his jeans.

“Anything for you, my dearest.” He walked towards Alex, making no secret of how pleased he was with himself and both his lovers’ request.

Alex put the half empty watering can on the ground for him. The water was fresh from the tap. Clean, but icy cold. The thought to warn him didn’t even cross her mind. He needed a cold shower anyways, smugly as he stood before them.

He looked like he was trying to flex when he heaved the can over his head. It was hard to tell though, with how loose his shirt hung on his bony frame.

Alex remained where she was, only a few steps away from him, and watched him with crossed arms.

He took his time, getting into it, moving in the most suggestive way possible. It would have been sexy if he hadn’t overdone it to an almost comical level. Still, it seemed to make Alex loose her wits a little. Enough so, that she was too slow to step out of the way when he turned towards her in the last second and overturned the watering can over her head.

“Ohmygodyoufuckingass!” Alex’s high pitched scream was barely verbal. The water was so cold, she couldn’t breathe for a second. Her teeth chattered involuntarily when she turned on him, bloody murder on her face.

Phil and Wrench each doubled over with laughter. Wrench, trying to flee from her wrath, half slid, half stumbled on the pebbled roof and tumbled to his knees, still laughing.

“How fucking dare you!” Alex was on top of him in a second. Her clothes stuck to her skin, wet and icy. His scream, when she wrapped arms and legs around him, was almost as loud as hers had been. She held on to him like a feral cat… a feral cat with chattering teeth, but vicious nonetheless. He was effectively trapped under her. “You’re such an ass,” she hissed.

“That’s one of my most endearing qualities.” Wrench’s body vibrated with laughter. He violently turned around and Alex toppled off him, landing on the pebbled ground with a huff.

“Sad but true…” she admitted, looking up into his eyes.

He was still grinning like an idiot, shivering now as well. Neither of them cared about the cold anymore though.

Alex wrapped her legs around him again, pulling him down on top of her. Heat slowly built up between them as Wrench moved against her, replacing the wet cold. Their lips met and everything else stopped mattering.

+++

Wrench had taken to carrying condoms with him at all times, because sometimes things just happened, he’d explained. And he was obviously right.

They didn’t bother to undress all the way, just pulled their pants down to their knees and made wet, cold, dirty love right there.

When they were done with their fight-turned-fucking, they were alone. Phil had left… hopefully before the fucking part. Alex wasn’t sure how she’d feel about Phil watching them and she didn’t want to find out.

+++

A familiar figure sat at their counter when they came back into the apartment a few minutes later, hair tousled, clothes damp. Phil was just telling Harvey about a crime scene they’d cleaned a week earlier, where a bunch of people had taken too many drugs and killed themselves and/or each other. It had easily been in the top five of the most disgusting sites they’d ever worked on. Alex would have nightmares about it for the rest of her life.

“Ugh… why do you still talk about that? It was fucking awful! I wanna forget about it like… yesterday!” Alex muttered, walking towards Harvey and hugging him from behind, careful not to get him wet. “What brings you here?”

“Can’t I just come to see my favorite godchild?” Harvey said innocently.

“Umm… sure you can. You just don’t usually do.”

“Well, today I do. Why are you all wet? And who’s that guy?” Harvey motioned at Wrench who, upon seeing a stranger in their kitchen, had run off to get his mask as soon as they’d entered. “Didn’t I arrest you a few times?”

“Did you?” Wrench scratched his chin, his face completely expressionless, as his mask was still going through the booting process and showing random characters and figures. “Ah! Wait… Yes! Yes! Detective Bollock, right? Badge Number 4583729…4?”

“5,” Harvey corrected, turning towards Wrench the tiniest bit, ”and the name’s Bullock.”

“And it’s Captain now!” Alex added with a grin.

“How’s the family?” Wrench casually asked, moving into the kitchen to get a beer from the fridge. The counter between him and the Cop probably was also part of his reasoning.

“Still don’t have any…” Harvey muttered.

“But you were talking so fondly about that goddaughter of yours and…. ooooooh!” O.O lit up on his mask. “So Alex is… Ha! HA! Remember how I told you I’d seduce her if you didn’t let me go? Now look where it got you!” He hurried back around the counter towards Alex and put his arm around her waist. “All seduced and under my spell.”

Harvey looked at Alex, questions written all over his face. “Why are you both wet then?” was obviously the most pressing one.

“Gardening…“ Alex explained, stealing Wrench’s beer and opening it for herself.

“And fucking.” Wrench added helpfully.

“Wait, you’re serious?” Harvey blinked at Alex a few times.

“Yea, we’re one big, happy family.” Phil added and stepped to Wrench’s other side, pressing a quick kiss to his temple.

Harvey looked from one to the other, confusion now evident in his bearing. “Are you all on some kind of drugs? You’re not telling me the three of you actually...” Harvey slowly muttered, connecting the dots inside his head.

“Not at all!” Alex explained. “It’s Wrench and I and Wrench and Phil.”

“Huh… lucky guy,” Harvey muttered under his breath. He emptied his beer in one long swig and put the empty can back on the counter. Hesitating for only a second, he took his flask from the inside pocket of his jacket and took a long swig as well. Beer obviously wasn’t strong enough for these new revelations.

“Yea, quite!” Wrench admitted, <3.<3 lighting up on his display.

“A word, Alex?” Harvey said once he’d found his composure again.

Alex groaned. “Do we have to?” She could pretty much imagine what he was going to tell her.

Harvey nodded. He got up from his stool and ushered her into her bedroom, decidedly closing the door behind them.

“Alex, what are you doing?” he asked. ”Why are you doing this to yourself?”

“Doing what to myself?” She defensively crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“Getting into a love triangle with this… guy,” Harvey said, making a dismissive motion towards the living room.

“First, this isn’t a love triangle; and second, he makes me happy, Harvey. And he makes Phil happy. And when Phil is happy, I’m happy too!”

“So you’re all happily, getting each other off? That guy is a criminal!” Harvey said.

“I know. I met him in prison, remember? What’s your problem?”

“What’s my problem? I’ll tell you what my problem is: You deserve better, Alex! You deserve someone who can provide for you, someone like…” he stopped himself.

“Someone like Jim?” Alex helpfully finished his thought. “I hate to remind you, but Jim threw our relationship away like yesterday’s trash! It’s been months. I can’t keep hoping he’ll take me back. You can’t either. Because he won’t. He’s replaced me, Harvey; with Lee of all people.” Alex grimaced at her name. “So why don’t I get to replace him as well?” She rapidly blinked to stop the tears that had formed in the corners of her eyes from falling.

“No one could ever replace you, Chou.”

“Yea? Tell that to the happy couple then… I know Wrench is no Prince Charming and probably not my happily ever after, but I’d like to enjoy this as long as it works; just live in the moment for a while, have fun, enjoy myself, you know?”

“Are you sure about this, Alex? Men are pigs! Two men are twice as many pigs! If either of them hurts you…”

“You’ll break their legs, I know…”

Harvey sat down on the bed, slowly nodding to himself. “I’ll need to wrap my head around this…”

“Take however much time you need,” Alex said, sitting down as well. “You don’t have to understand, just accept it, okay?” She put her head on his shoulder.

He sighed. “At least you’re being responsible,” he muttered, motioning at the 100 pack of condoms on her nightstand.

“Of course we are. We’re no idiots,” Alex nervously cleared her throat, glad he didn’t see her face. He didn’t have to know about their little mishap from a few weeks ago. “So, why are you really here?”

“I was in the area and heard someone scream. Wanted to make sure you’re alright.”

Alex snorted. “We were having a little… fun on the roof…”

“Gardening,” Harvey helpfully supplied.

“Gardening, yes.”

He took another sip from his flask. Neither said anything for a few minutes.

“So is this… this thing you’re having official? If Jim asks me…”

“Why would Jim ask you about me?”

“He’s still concerned for your wellbeing, Alex. It’s part of who he is.”

“Well, tell him I’m happy then… for the first time in a long time. And very, very satisfied. And if you tell him about us, take a picture. I want to see his face.”


	3. Wrong, but nice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil is sad  
> Alex and Wrench try to make him feel better... it doesn't quite work out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this has something that might be considered light smut at the end of the chapter, nothing explicit, but some nudity and fumbling... be warned

“Come on, hurry up Alex! No need to make yourself all pretty, no one’s even gonna look your way, if you waltz in there with us,” Phil impatiently shouted. He was already waiting by the door.

Alex was still in her bedroom, “I can’t go out,” she whined, sticking her head out the door so she could look at him.

“Why the hell not?”

“I have nothing to wear!”

That got her a chuckle from Wrench and a groan from Phil.

Wrench came out of Phil’s bedroom, fully dressed, mask in hand, and walked straight into hers. A broad grin spread on his face. She wore a form fitting tank top and a pair of lacy panties. Half her closet was scattered on her bed, mixed through with some of Wrench’s stuff. He looked through the mountain of clothes and grabbed a short plaid skirt. “This!” He nodded to himself, proud of his choice. “I’ll be hoisting at half-mast all night long, seeing you like that.” He suggestively wiggled his eyebrows at her. The left one didn’t wiggle quite as much as the right one. The scar tissue over his eye was too thick.

“Yea, that’s not gonna happen.” Alex muttered, shaking her head. She took the skirt from him and tossed it to the side. Wrench still hadn’t told them about how he’d gotten the scar. It didn’t really matter anyways. She loved him exactly the way he was, warts and all.

“Same difference,” Wrench shrugged. “I won’t get the thought of you in that out of my head all night long. Rawr!” He made a pawing motion at her.

“Hurry up guys! Happy hour is only till 10!” Phil shouted from outside her room. They heard his keys jiggle.

“Coming, honey!” Wrench answered and left the room.

Looking around frantically for half a minute more, Alex finally settled on a pair of jeans from the ground. They didn’t smell too bad yet. She could wear them once more.

+++

The bar was crammed, the music was bad and the waiters slow. “Good thing I hurried,” Alex sarcastically muttered. They’d been waiting for their drinks for ages.

“Yea, if we’d gotten here earlier, it wouldn’t have been as bad…” Phil tried defending himself. “We could already be drunk…”

“Sure… keep telling yourself that.”

“Let’s get out of here!” Wrench suggested.

“If you call over the waiter now, he’ll be here with the tab in in 5-7 business days,” Alex groaned.

That got her a snort from Wrench. “Do I look like the kind of person who cares about paying their tabs?”

“Why am I not surprised?” Alex sighed.

“I’m honestly not sure, considering how we first met. Come on, you’re the girl. You can walk out first. I’ll go last. Wait for me in the parking lot, be prepared to run.” ^.^ showed on his mask as he spoke. He clearly enjoyed this.

“You’re gonna come join us after, yes?” Phil said to Wrench. His voice sounded uncharacteristically insecure. He’d been in a weird mood all week.

“I’ll always come join you, Philou”

“Promise?”

“Pinky Promise!” Wrench promised, reaching for Phil’s pinky and hooking them

Alex watched their exchange, grimacing. What had she done to fall in love with those two overlarge kids?

“I’ll wait for you in the bodega on the corner. They have beer,” Alex said.

“Good thinking! We’ll do that! Now get your sweet ass outta here,” Wrench agreed.

She made her way through the crowd. The bar was stuffed to overflowing. It was awful. Not for the first time since she’d broken things off with Jim, she longed for O’Malley’s. The service there had always been on point, no matter how many guests there were.  
It was a shame she couldn’t go there any longer; too many memories, too many Cops, too big a chance of meeting Jim.  
They’d been separated for almost 6 months now, but she still hadn’t the slightest urge to run into him.

The night air was cool after the stuffy interior of the bar. It was relatively quiet as well. Alex took her time walking towards the store. It was pleasant outside.

In the distance, police sirens were blaring. It was like Jim had always said. Crime never slept in Gotham.

The neon lights inside the store were blindingly bright compared to the low street lights outside. A few teenagers loitered right next to the entrance, probably waiting for someone to buy them booze… or for someone to rob. Whichever it was, Alex gave them a wide berth.

The guy working the register was barely older than the kids outside. He didn’t seem to give a shit about them or about life in general. She could smell the stink of his greasy hair and unwashed body from afar.

Shuddering with disgust, Alex headed straight for the back. She could see the entrance in the convex mirror in the corner. Phil was outside the door already. He couldn’t have walked out long after her.

The small gang seemed to have approached him, saying something. He would have none of their bullshit though. “Do I look like some kind of good Samaritan? Get yourselves a couple fake ID’s and stop bothering your elders!” he ranted, walking into the store backwards so he could keep giving them the finger a little while longer. “Fucking kids, really!” He slowly turned around and scanned the store for Alex.

She took a sixpack from the cooler and moved towards the front.

“This is Gotham, man! You get a free fake ID with your morning coffee if you ask nicely… I mean…” Phil muttered. He wasn’t done with his rant just yet.

“Damn right, Grumpy Mc Grumperson!” Alex agreed, putting the sixpack on the counter. “You want anything else?”

“Something that’s gonna give me instant cavities.” Phil said.

Alex moved to the candy aisle. And just in time, it seemed…

“Give us your money then, fucking asshole!” One of the kids had come inside. Hadn’t they noticed the camera in the corner? What were they doing?

Alex looked up into the mirror again and grimaced when she saw the kid hold a knife at hip level, the business end pointing towards Phil. Was that necessary? She met the cashier’s watery eyes in the mirror but he didn’t seem inclined to do anything about the attempted robbery. As long as he wasn’t the victim, he would do nothing at all.  
Alex couldn’t blame him. For the kind of money he made, she wouldn’t endanger herself either.

“Do I look like I have any money?” Phil tried talking the kid down.

“Do I look like I have any money?” the kid mocked, taking a step towards Phil and fumbling around with the knife in what was probably supposed to be a menacing matter.

“What are you gonna do with that?” Phil said, “Stab me?”

A second kid entered the store as well, a bit shorter than the first one, stockily built, a pair of shiny brass knuckles on his balled fists. They were so shiny in fact, they had probably never been used before. Still, Alex would rather neither Phil nor her be the first to get closely acquainted with them.

Hurrying through the store, she stopped next to Phil. “How about we buy you some beer and we’ll all be on our way,” she suggested.

“How about you suck my dick, bitch?” the kid with the brass knuckles said. Knifekid laughed. “Yea, and mine right after!”

Alex rolled her eyes.

“How about you suck each other off instead.” Wrench stepped into the store. He had dressed to impress tonight, which meant he was in full punk gear, studs all over, mask on, \ / showing on the display in case his outfit alone didn’t make him look menacing enough. Because yes, this was how menace was supposed to look like! If Alex had met him alone in the street, she’d have switched to the other side.

“And what are you supposed to be?” Knifekid turned and pointed his weapon at Wrench instead of Phil. He grinned smugly when he noticed Wrench didn’t have a weapon.

“Your worst fucking nightmare!” Wrench muttered. With practiced ease, he grabbed the kid’s wrist, twisted his arm and turned in an almost dancelike motion, until he was suddenly behind the kid, knife in his hand, blade pressed against the boy’s throat. All of this took less than a second.

Alex stared at him openmouthed. Seemed like he didn’t need a weapon.

The kid looked as flabbergasted as she was. He squirmed against Wrench’s grip, but Wrench wasn’t done yet.

“If you want to go around threatening people, learn how to use your weapons,” he hissed into the kid’s ear. His voice sounded eerie through the synthesizer. “And if you want women to suck your dick, grow some fucking hair on your balls first!” Wrench turned them both around, still holding on to the knife, and shoved him towards the exit.

The boy caught himself before he fell and scuttled off. Brass Knuckles took one more glance at Wrench before turning around and running out as well.

“That was… Are you a ninja or something?” Alex muttered.

Wrench put his arm around her waist. “Ninjas wish they were me, baby!” he said, going from scary and potentially violent to soft and lovey in a heartbeat. The knife he had taken from the kid was the cheapest of kitchen knives, the kind with the blades that were so soft, they bent when used. With a shrug, Wrench dropped it in the dustbin.

“I could have scared them off too…” Phil softly said.

“Of course you could have, dear.” Wrench let go of Alex and put his arm around Phil instead. If they’d been at home, they’d have kissed.

The clerk stared at Wrench with wide eyes. He seemed a mixture of confused and scared. Whatever kind of drugs he had taken probably didn’t make what he’d just seen any easier to grasp. Alex tried paying for their stuff, but he didn’t even react.

Putting a 5$ bill on the counter, she reached over to grab a plastic bag, took her beer and candy and ushered her men outside. The kids had run off and were nowhere to be seen.

“Where to?” Alex asked.

Phil shook his head. “I don’t care…”

Wrench took over the lead and walked them towards a tiny, disgusting grassy area, right next to the subway. It was too small to be called a park. And too nasty. Alex could see a couple injection needles in the weak glow streetlights without even trying to see them. Wrench sat down anyways.

Alex cleared a small spot of grass with her foot and sat as well. She wasn’t usually easily disgusted, but this seemed plain unsanitary. Phil carelessly sat down as well.

A short distance away another small group of people sat. They were smoking something that smelled like it would give you brain cancer if it got into your bloodstream. A little to their right, some old, bearded guy was pissing against a tree. Classy. Nice spot to chill.

Trying to ignore their surroundings, Alex put her arm around Phil’s back and her head on his shoulder “I know you could have chased them off,” she muttered. “Wouldn’t be the first time you got my dumb ass out of a pickle.”

“Don’t,” Phil said, moving away from her.

“Why does this bother you so much?” Alex asked, voice soft.

“I don’t know. I mean… I’m in a relationship with a guy who’s also in a relationship with a woman while I myself can’t remember the last time I fucked a woman and now I can’t even get rid of a couple of kids? Am I even a real man at this point?”

“Um… excuse you? You’re a fucking masculine man in a very masculine relationship! What’s not manly about that?” Wrench protested. He crawled towards Phil and wrapped himself around his boyfriend from the side in a pretty girly looking way.

“I can’t even remember what boobs feel like.” Phil muttered. “Are they soft? Juicy? Or hard? Like Melons?”

Alex grimaced. “I can assure you, there’s nothing juicy about boobs.”

“You sure? I mean… I’d probably have to convince myself to believe that…” Phil looked at her face, then down at her cleavage, licking his lips.

“You can touch them at home… after you’ve thoroughly washed your hands… this is too disgusting,” Alex muttered, looking at the grass around them with a disgusted look on her face. The guy by the tree had finished peeing and slowly came closer, looking at her cleavage as well.

“Really?” Phil seemed pleasantly surprised.

“One, not both!” Alex slowed him down while trying very hard to ignore the old guy.

“Which one?”

“I don’t care… but can we finish this talk at home? That guy’s creeping me out…” she motioned at the old dude who suddenly seemed to have an important appointment somewhere else and walked off.

The guys looked after the old dude before focusing on their chat again.

“Right one’s much better…” Wrench whispered.

“So I’m not imagining that!” Alex thoughtfully said.

“No… right one’s my favorite!” Wrench rightfully admitted.

Leaning against Wrench, Phil turned to look skywards. “You talking about them like that makes it kinda weird…”

“This whole thing we’re doing is kinda weird…“ Alex shrugged, taking a sip of her beer. “Let’s go home… this night is dead.”

+++

Alex got into some sweatpants and out of her bra before joining Phil and Wrench on the sofa. They were watching some random 90s movie about some rich guy dressing up as a bat. This was much nicer than going out anyways. Being with the people she loved… in peace and quiet. She snuggled up to Wrench, pulling up her knees and leaning her head against his shoulders. He had shed his jacket and pants and was in black t-shirt and boxers.

Phil chilled on their other side, in the corner, eyes closed, arms crossed. He had taken off his pants as well. Alex watched him out of the corner of her eye, only half paying attention to the TV. He still seemed upset.

Alex crawled towards him on the sofa and leaned against him, wordlessly communicating _I’m here._ He said nothing, just continued staring at the TV with empty eyes.

After a while he silently got up and went into his bedroom. Alex and Wrench looked after him, but decided to give him some space. They snuggled up with each other and finished the movie.

+++

Wrench had fallen asleep against her and she carefully freed herself from under him, leaving the TV on so as not to wake him. The second part of the batguy movie had just started. She went to brush her teeth and found the door to Phil’s room open. Alex could see him lying in bed, staring at his phone.

“You want to be alone?” Alex asked, once she was done getting ready for bed. She slowly walked into his room and sat down next to him.

“I don’t care…” Phil muttered.

“Scooch then,” she said and climbed into bed. “Tell me what’s bothering you.” She took his phone away and reclined next to him, her head propped up on her hand.

“Nothing.” Phil muttered. And after a short break, “he’s gonna leave.”

“Who’s gonna leave?”

“Nobody… doesn’t matter.”

“You want me to talk or just shut up?” He couldn’t be talking about Wrench, could he? Why would he leave? He seemed happy with them…

“I don’t care.” Phil said again.

Alex sighed. “Let’s sleep then.” She didn’t want to leave him alone when he was like that. Phil being monosyllabic was scary. He loved hearing his own voice too much.

She climbed under the blanket and made herself comfortable next to him. Closing her eyes, she let her hand rest against his upper arm.

Phil wordlessly pulled her hand closer, so it came to rest on his ribs. Alex let her thumb pet him in the smallest of movements. _I’m here. I won’t leave._

“Why are you abandoning me all alone out there? And why are you in bed with Phil?” Wrench suddenly muttered. “Did you finally decide we’d have that threesome?

Alex startled awake at his words. “Shh…” she made, before he could say anything more, “Get undressed and come in here.”

+++

Alex woke up in a tangle of limbs and blankets. It was early morning, barely even light. Phil was half on top, Wrench half under her. Her back hurt from sleeping in an awkward position. But she was warm and felt more secure than she had in quite a while.

The guys were still sleeping. Wrench snoring like crazy, Phil, thankfully, not as much.

She had never before woken up with two half-dressed guys. It was nice, there was no denying that. Her full bladder prevented her from enjoying it though. Carefully she tried to untangle herself without waking Phil. Wrench slept like the dead. She didn’t have to be very careful there.

“Stop moving,” Phil groaned. His face was half hidden in his pillow, his voice muffled.

“Sorry…” Alex whispered, “I need to pee…” Now that Phil was awake, there was no reason for her to be careful. She got out of the tangle and watched Phil snake towards Wrench, wrapping his long limbs around him. They looked innocent, cuddled up against each other like kittens, sleeping, dozing. Wrench rolled onto his back and his dick formed a very visible tent in his boxers. Well, maybe not all innocent, but definitely comfortable.

She went to the bathroom and when she came back, Wrench was spooning Phil, grinding against him, kissing his neck.

Both had their eyes closed but they were definitely awake. Alex hesitated. Should she get back into bed with them? Or leave them to it?

“What are you waiting for?” Wrench muttered without opening his eyes.

“Just… didn’t want to bother you guys.”

“You still owe me boobs!” Phil said.

“One boob!” Alex corrected. “And I thought they weren’t good enough for you anyways!”

“That was sad, drunk Phil… this is horny Phil talking!”

Alex sighed. “Well… can’t really disregard horny Phil’s wishes, can I?”

“Nope… now come here…” Wrench reached out for her. “Might as well take that shirt off while you’re at it.”

Alex looked between them, a slow grin spreading on her face. “Might as well,” she muttered to herself and pulled the shirt over her head. Wasn’t as if she showed either of them anything new by undressing. She slowly climbed back into bed, very aware of how both of them now sported some impressive morning wood.

“Just to be clear… we won’t have a threesome.” Alex said, worming in between them.

“You sure about that?” Wrench whispered from behind, his mouth close to her ear. He kissed her neck, nibbling her skin with his teeth, teasing her with his tongue, letting his hand glide downwards from her shoulder, over her arm, over her naked breasts.

Alex closed her eyes, enjoying his touches but didn’t allow her hormones to overwhelm her all the way. “Yea, I’m sure…” Her voice sounded much more uncertain than her words.

“In case anyone’s interested, I wouldn’t mind…” Phil chimed in. He had watched them and come closer slowly.

Alex felt his hands on her hip, moving upwards. Oh fuck, was this really happening? She couldn’t deny the way her body reacted. She felt her nipples harden under their combined touches, parts farther downwards clenched around nothing; eager, waiting. Wrench’s erection pressed against her from behind and a soft moan escaped her lips.

One hand moved downwards and into her panties. Alex wasn’t sure who it belonged to and she didn’t want to open her eyes for fear of bursting the fragile bubble they were in. She felt her breath hitch in her throat at the gentle caress.

“You still okay with this?” Phil muttered, “I’m gonna touch you now.”

“Yea, just… shut up…” Alex squirmed against Wrench at the same time as she reached out to grab Phil, to pull him closer. If they were doing this, she wanted to do this right.

Aaaaaand there was a second erection pressed against her. This was really happening.

She felt eager hands on her breasts, cupping them, greedy fingers sliding over her nipples.

“Damn… Makes me remember why I’m not strictly into guys…” Phil muttered.

“You still sure about that threesome?” Wrench whispered, his mouth close to her ear again. His hot breath made her skin tingle.

“Yea…” Alex barely managed to press out the word. Her breath came fast, her heart raced. Wrench’s fingers traced her entrance and her hips involuntarily moved against him. Damn, this felt nice.

Phil’s hands were on her breasts, his erection against her thigh. She put her leg over his hips and pulled him closer. Maybe a threesome wasn’t that far out of the question. She’d never expected her best friend to be so skillful with his fingers.

Her best friend.

Fuck.

Okay, this was not gonna work. “Stop,” she managed to say. “Sorry, I can’t do this…”

She moved out from between them, breathing hard, limbs shaking, and almost fell over her own legs when she made it to standing by the foot end of the bed. Shit, this had been stupid!

Picking up her shirt from the floor, holding it before her chest, she fled the room, closing the door behind her, leaning against it breathlessly.

Her brain screamed. Stupid Stupid Stupid!

Her body screamed as well… Go back inside! As much as she hated to admit, being touched by both of them… it had felt kinda nice… Wrong, but definitely very nice.


	4. A painful truth... literally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil tells Alex what's been bothering him. Alex can't keep her mouth shut and the situation escalates

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is kinda dialogue heavy (even by my standards) I'm not really sorry about it, just thought I'd mention it ;)

The reason why Alex had run out of their attempted threesome was a very simple one.

“What if we can’t be friends anymore after we do it?” she muttered to Phil, sitting on the edge of the bathtub. They were home alone for once. Wrench was out on some mysterious business errand.

Phil took his toothbrush out of his mouth and spit in the sink before turning towards her. “Being scared of ruining a friendship by having sex is like being scared of ruining ice cream by adding sprinkles,” he said, sticking his toothbrush into his mouth again.

“But I… don’t really like sprinkles!”

“Shud uf, yu no whad I mwean,” he mumbled, shooting her a glance through the mirror.

“Yea, but…”

Phil rinsed his mouth and toothbrush and turned towards her again, wiping his face. “Doesn’t matter Alex. If you’re not into it, we won’t do it. Case closed!”

Alex sighed deeply, absentmindedly staring at their toothbrush-holder. Two pink ones, one green. A bad metaphor for their relationship sat somewhere in the back of her mind, but she couldn’t come up with the right words for it. Alex was no poet.

Phil walked past her and into his bedroom. He was uncharacteristically withdrawn lately. And it seemed worse whenever Wrench went out by himself. “Hey Phil?” Alex got up and followed him.

“Hm?” He took a t-shirt from the ground and sniffed it before tossing it to a growing heap of dirty laundry in the corner.

“That thing you said the other day… about someone going to leave us… what did you mean by that?” Alex stopped in the doorframe and leaned against it, crossing her arms.

“Nothing… forget about it!” Phil tried waving her off.

“You ask Wrench if he’s going to come back again each time he leaves… I notice things, you know?”

Now it was Phil’s turn to sigh. “Can we please NOT talk about this? I just woke up an hour ago… I’m not ready for deep conversations.”

“I mean… it’s not my fault you sleep till 3.30 in the afternoon… and I can’t force you to talk, but…”

“Just… be careful, okay?”

“About what? Don’t be cryptic! You know I hate riddles!”

Phil rolled his eyes and turned his back to her. “You know how I’ve been with Wrench before, yes? I mean… in about the same way as him and I are now…” He took another t-shirt and did the sniff-test, successful this time. “Just that back then, there was no you.”

“Must have been boring, just the two of you…” Alex joked, trying to lighten the mood. “Why did you break up?”

“Thing is… we never did. He just walked out one day and didn’t come back for six months.” Phil said, his face hidden by the shirt as he pulled it over his head.

“…What?” Alex was sure she must have misheard. That was an awful thing to do! Wrench wouldn’t do something like that.

“He did that to me twice! It’s just how he is. I’m sure he loves us both, but… he’ll never settle down… he’s hiding behind a mask, even when he’s not wearing one…”

“That’s probably the most profound thing I’ve ever heard you say…” Alex muttered.

“I’m being serious here!” He walked past her, back into the bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror, combing through his curly hair with wet fingers.

Alex considered his words for a moment, studying the tiled floor under Phil’s feet. It could do with a mopping, sooner rather than later.

“At this point, I think it’s more a question of ‘when’ than ‘if’,” he said, looking at her through the mirror.

“Why would he do this?” Alex wondered.

“I don’t know. I guess he got bored of being with me… every time I ask him about it, he changes the subject…” Phil shrugged. Outwardly he seemed calm, but Alex knew him too well to be fooled. She noticed how he almost continuously rubbed his fingers against each other, tracing over his short bitten nails. She knew his tells.

“I’ll ask him!” she said.

“Good luck…”

“He can’t just walk out on you and expect you to take him back when he feels like it!”

“He shouldn’t, no… but I’ve been stupid enough twice now, so…” Phil shrugged.

“What a fucking ass!” Alex muttered. It pained her to see her best friend sad. It pained her to think badly about her lover. What was she supposed to do now?

“He’s got us both wrapped around his pinky.” Phil muttered. “Try to enjoy this as long as it works, but guard your heart, Alex, that’s all I’m gonna say.”

That was easier said than done. She crossed her arms in front of her chest, hugging herself. She wasn’t sure if she could act normally around Wrench now she knew what she knew. Harvey had been right. “Men are fucking pigs!”

The sound of the door being unlocked made them both look up.

“Honey, I’m home!” Wrench shouted. His voice started out synthesized and ended on his natural tone, as he took off his mask. “I brought ice cream!”

Phil moved out of the bathroom and walked to greet him. How could he be so calm, knowing what he knew? Alex was so angry she couldn’t bear the thought of being in the same room as Wrench; even being in the same apartment felt unbearable.

She went into her room and changed into her gardening clothes. She needed air to think things through.

“I brought sprinkles too,” Wrench beamed, reaching for her.

“Don’t talk to me. I hate sprinkles,” Alex shot him down.

“Sorry, I won’t bring any next time…” Wrench said, but she had already slammed the door behind her.

Phil had no real family. His mother had died when he was young and his father had been too much of an egoistic narcissist to properly take care of a child. Phil had practically raised himself and moved out at 15. He had broken off all contact with his father shortly after that. His many friends and acquaintances were mostly insensitive idiots, gone as quickly as they came. He couldn’t rely on them. Alex knew she was the only one he could really count on when push came to shove. She had become more and more protective of Phil over the past few years and the past months especially. They’d gone through so much shit together.

She was tending to her plants, probably more roughly than they deserved, when the door to the roof opened again.

“Are you alright?” Wrench asked.

“Don’t fucking talk to me!” Alex repeated her earlier words, turning so her back faced him.

“Alright… I’ll eat this ice cream on my own then…” Wrench sat down on the less rusty garden chair – they’d found a second one – and Alex heard the clinking of a spoon against china and soft moans of enjoyment as he ate. “This dark chocolate ice cream is the fucking best…” he muttered, obviously baiting her.

“You don’t even like dark chocolate,” she said, half turning.

“Remember when you ate it that one time and kissed me after? It reminds me of you, ever since… your warm lips, your soft boobs, your tight ass…”

Alex exhaled. That was fucking cute. But she was mad at him! She wouldn’t be baited so easily. “Good for you,” she said, focusing back on the tomato plant in front of her.

“I could be convinced to share, you know…” he offered. The chair creaked as he got to his feet.

“Good for you!” she repeated.

The bowl and spoon suddenly appeared under her nose, accompanied by a set of tattooed arms and a warm body against her back.

“What’s wrong, Alex?” he asked from right next to her ear. She could smell the chocolate on his breath.

“You’re a fucking ass, that’s wrong!” She said, freeing herself and getting to her feet.

“What did I do? I get the feeling this isn’t about the sprinkles!” He stood up as well.

“Phil told me!” she shouted.

“About what?”

“About how you fucking ran out on him for six months! Twice!” Alex held up two fingers to underline her words.

“It wasn’t six months… it was eight the first time and five the second.” Wrench tried defending himself. He walked the few steps to the chair and put down the bowl.

“And that’s supposed to make it better or what?” Alex stared at him.

“I mean…”

“You mean what?”

“He took me back into his arms and bed both times…”

“And that’s supposed to make it better?” she repeated, gesturing wildly.

“Could you put down those shears? You’re scaring me a bit…” Wrench muttered.

Alex hadn’t realized she’d still been holding them and let her hand sink to the side. She wasn’t done yet chewing him out. “So when are you going to walk out this time? You know how scared Phil is?”

“He keeps asking me if I’ll come back each time I go take a leak. It’s getting annoying.”

“Because he’s fucking scared, you dumb idiot!”

Wrench opened his mouth as if to say something, but closed it again.

“I’ll be the one to pick up the pieces when you break his heart! And I don’t even know who’s gonna pick up mine, you stupid fucking… fuck!”

He looked her, a small smirk playing around his lips. “Are you… as turned on as I am just now?”

Had he even heard what she’d just said? “What… are you serious? I’m the fucking opposite of turned on!” In a moment of fury, she threw the gardening shears after him.

Wrench dodged them and took a step towards her, “Are you crazy? That shit’s dangerous!”

Alex knew it had been, but she was too mad to care at this point.   
“As was getting involved with you,” she said, stepping closer towards him as well. She wouldn’t be intimidated.

They almost touched. Wrench grabbed her around the waist, pulling her closer, trying to kiss her.

No fucking way. Alex was in no mood for his games. Not today! Without stopping to think about it, Alex kneed him right in the groin.

“Fuck…” he exhaled with pain and took a step backwards, gripping his balls.

It only took a second for him to catch himself though and Alex had only one second to see his fist coming towards her face in a right hook. She wasn’t used to fighting. There was no chance she could dodge his punch.

It hurt.

Fuck.

She hadn’t been aware being punched in the face would hurt so badly. Tears streamed down her face without any way to control them.

“Oww…” she cried, flinching away from him, her arms involuntarily reaching up to cover her head. Blood was dripping down on the ground, the irony smell filling her nose. Fuck.

Wrench, realizing what he’d just done, moved after her. “Fuck, I’m sorry! I… I didn’t think.”

“Don’t you dare fucking touch me!” Alex hissed, stepping out of his reach.

“Shit, you’re bleeding…” he whispered.

“Thank you, Captain Obvious.” Fuck, her face hurt. “Don’t you fucking touch me!” she screamed, shaking off his hand from her shoulder.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Phil was suddenly there. “Did you… did you hit her?” He pulled Wrench away, defensively stepping between them. “Are you okay?”

“Do I look okay?” Alex whimpered. She pushed Phil to the side and dizzily walked towards the chairs gingerly prodding her cheek, her nose, her jaw… she didn’t even know where she was bleeding from. The pain definitely was no clear indication. It hurt everywhere.

“You can’t fucking punch her!” Phil shouted at Wrench.

“I didn’t mean to…” Wrench said, “Shit, I’m sorry Alex.”

Alex said nothing. She knew she wasn’t innocent, but she wasn’t yet ready to admit it. Sitting with her elbows on her knees, she let the blood flow freely, splattering the light grey pebbles under her.

Hitting him had been stupid. Of course Wrench would strike back if she hit him. He wasn’t Jim. Wrench was as messy a ball of emotions as she herself was. Not like Jim, all in control all the time. Damn, she wanted Jim right in that moment. Fuck. Tears and snot mixed with blood, dripping to the ground. She wasn’t crying purely out of physical pain now.

A pair of jeans clad legs appeared in her field of vision and someone handed her a wadded up T-shirt. “For your nose,” Phil said. “Come on, let’s get you downstairs… you need to put some ice on that…” Phil was talking to her, but the shirt was definitely Wrench’s.

Alex shakily got to her feet and pushed away Phil’s helpful hands. She didn’t want to be touched. Not by Phil, not by anyone. She wasn’t sure whether to be mad or scared or sorry.

+++

Alex walked straight into the bathroom to assess the damage. Damn, she looked awful. The left half of her face was all red and angry looking and already started to swell. She’d have a nice shiner tomorrow. Blood slowly started flowing from her nose again as she watched. Why hadn’t she just kept her mouth shut?

Washing her face, careful so as not to upset her tender flesh any more, she placed a wet towel on the back of her neck and waited till the blood stopped flowing.   
She found an ice pack on her bed when she went into her bedroom and slowly lay down, gingerly placing the ice on her pulsing left cheek, closing her eyes.

+++

It was almost dark outside when she opened them again. She heard voices from the living room. Phil and Wrench were shouting. A third voice was there as well. What the fuck? Why was Harvey here? Heavy steps came towards her door and it was pushed open unceremoniously.

“What did that animal do to you, Chou?”

Alex groaned. She still had the icepack against her face but it was mostly melted and barely cool anymore. She slowly reached up and took it away.

Harvey took one look at her before he turned around again. “I’m going to kill him!” He stormed out of her room again.

There was more screaming and a chair toppled over, something crashed.

Alex hurried to her feet. Her vision went black and she took a moment to make sure she’d remain upright. Her face pounded in time with her heartbeat.

“Stop it!” she shouted. Her voice was hoarse. Why was her voice hoarse? She cleared her throat and tried again. “Stop moving, all of you!”

Harvey had Wrench at gunpoint, cornered in the kitchen, Phil standing between them as a human shield. His expression clearly broadcast he’d rather be anywhere else.

“What are you doing?” Alex shouted. She wasn’t sure who she was talking to.

“I told you I’d kill them if they hurt you!” Harvey said.

“He… didn’t…“ Alex hesitated, “well, he did, but… I started it!”

Harvey’s gun didn’t waver.

“Put away that gun, Harvey… please,” Alex decidedly said, placing a tentative hand on his arm. He seemed on edge.

“What do you mean, you started it?” Harvey slowly said, eyes focused on Wrench, unshakably.

“I… threw my gardening shears after him and…“ she awkwardly looked at the ground, lowering her voice, “I kicked him in the balls a little.”

Harvey’s gun had been sinking down, but moved up again at her second sentence. “Did he try anything?”

“I just wanted to kiss her…” Wrench muttered from behind Phil. “I… misread the signs…”

“The signs?” Alex stared at him. “I told you I was in no mood!”

“Yea, but… I thought we were gonna have angry sex or something…”

Phil turned around and sadly shook his head at Wrench. “You’re unbelievable…”

Harvey slowly holstered his gun and Wrench stepped out from behind Phil.

“I think I should probably leave…” Wrench muttered, awkwardly looking at Alex, then back at Phil. “Just for a while…” He seemed to wait for either of them to oppose, but neither did.

Wrench silently walked towards their bedrooms to gather his bearings. Harvey’s handcuffs were dangling from his left wrist.

Alex took the fallen over chair, put it back on its feet and sat down, burying her face in her hands.

Phil silently gathered the few things of Wrench’s that were in the living room and vanished into his bedroom. Alex heard them talking amongst them, but couldn’t make out their words.

“Why are you even here?” she said after a while, not bothering to look up.

“I had a feeling,” Harvey said, “call it Cop-Sense.”

“Well... thank you, but it was uncalled for,” Alex said.

“You wouldn’t say that if you saw your face right now.”

“I don’t have to see it, I can feel it.” Alex looked up at him.

Wrench came into the living room again, his ragged backpack on his back. “So, umm… I’m gonna leave…” he said. He had his mask on, displaying T.T. 

“Sorry about kicking you in the balls…” Alex muttered.

“And you better stay away,” Harvey said. He motioned Wrench close and unlocked the handcuffs. “I know your face now. If you fuck up again, I will find you.”

Wrench snorted. “Yea, good luck with that, old man… And Alex, no hard feelings…” Not wasting any more time, he walked out.

“You should leave too…” Alex said to Harvey, “… in like… five minutes or so.”

“Chou…”

“I don’t want to talk.”

She got up and walked into the bathroom, head hanging low. She needed a long, hot bath. Her gaze fell on their toothbrush holder. It looked unfamiliarly empty with only her pink and Phil’s green brushes.

Alex exhaled. The exhale turned into a sigh, the sigh into a sob. Once again, she had fucked everything up. Alex Brooks, Relationship killer


	5. Goodbyes are the worst...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wrench comes back one last time... only to leave again...

Alex hadn’t realized how much she’d gotten used to having Wrench around. It had been nice with him, despite all his mistakes. He had complemented her weirdness. His smartass remarks had been immensely entertaining, even if he sometimes overdid it to the point of barely but not all the way annoying. The carefully composed carelessness he’d radiated had made her feel more relaxed about life as well. And the sex… had been wild.

It was awfully quiet in their apartment without him. Their neighbors were probably cheering with joy. They hadn’t been big fans of her and Phil moving in in the first place and had been positively appalled, their word, not Alex’s, when they’d gotten a third roommate who enjoyed drugs and loud music.

“You think he’s gonna come back?” Alex said to Phil over breakfast, or whatever a meal consisting of breakfast food at 2.15 pm would be called.

“Stop asking me… I don’t want to think about it… or about anything,” Phil muttered. He got up to get the Whiskey from their booze cabinet and poured a generous amount of it over his honey loops.

Alex grimaced. She wasn’t usually choosy about how to consume her booze, but this…

“Don’t fucking judge!” Phil said, noticing her glance, tiredly lifting his bowl and half spooning, half drinking his breakfast. He hadn’t been sober since Wrench left a week ago.

Had she overreacted in throwing him out or had she just sped up the inevitable? “Sorry… I won’t do it again,” she muttered, pouring a generous amount of Whiskey into her coffee.

“Fucking hypocrite…” Phil mumbled, putting down his bowl and wiping his mouth. He got up and walked into the living room, turning on the TV in passing.

“Hey, umm… do you think you could take a shower today? I can smell you from here…”

Phil snorted and dropped onto the sofa. He lounged on the same spot every day and the cushions slowly but surely developed a pit where his ass was. “Maybe… probably not though.”

“Yea, I kinda knew you’d say that.” To Alex’s right, a small pile of old mail was slowly growing into a big one. She took the top few leaflets and slowly rolled them up as she walked towards the sofa. “So I’ll ask you again: Do you think you could take a shower today? You know I’m not scared to use this…” she said, menacingly bending over him. “You fucking reek!”

“Showering is overrated…” Phil muttered, waving her off.

“Not stinking up the whole place with your unwashed pits isn’t!”

“You’re too fucking sensitive!”

“You’re… too… fucking… stinky!” Alex slapped him with her paper between each word.

Phil sat up straight and caught her wrist, taking the makeshift club from her and tossing it in the corner where it harmlessly unrolled and fluttered apart. “Don’t you fucking slap me!” He snipped her against the forehead with his thumb and middle finger.

“Then please go shower… Or I can even draw you a bath, if you want me to.”

“Nah… not necessary, I just…” he grimaced, “I just smelled myself… I’ll go…”

+++

Alex went out for drinks with Harvey that evening. She had to get out of their apartment or she’d go mad. Harvey had been degraded to Detective again and had more time to get drunk with Alex. Jim taking over as the Captain put a serious strain on Harvey and Jim’s friendship though. Understandably so. The way Jim had taken over, the version she’d been told at least, didn’t seem entirely kosher and was definitely a shitty move towards Harvey.

Harvey had been in a mood ever since it had happened a week ago. That and the fact he still couldn’t bear looking at her, since her face was still bruised up made for a bad combination. The bruise had faded to light purple and green tones but was still very visible, even in the dim light of the bar.

Harvey was monosyllabic and drank faster than the barkeeper could refill his glass. Alex tried her best to cheer him up but failed miserably. His best friend had betrayed him. The cut was too deep. Only time would heal that wound.

They didn’t stay long. Harvey was drunker than she’d seen him in a while. He would have one hell of a hangover tomorrow. Alex sat him in a cab and told the driver his address.

She herself chose to walk home. It was only a couple blocks and the fresh, cool night air sobered her up a bit. When she entered the apartment, she wished she’d still be drunk.

Phil’s bare ass, pale, hairy, illuminated by the cold kitchen light, on the sofa, humping someone, two male voices moaning and groaning greeted her. They were so into it, they hadn’t even heard her come in.

Alex didn’t know how Phil had found someone so quickly. She’d been only gone for a few hours, but good for him in any case! Maybe it would help him forget Wrench.

She sneaked towards her bedroom without turning on the lights, so as not to disturb them and stumbled over a jacket that had carelessly been tossed to the floor. A very familiar jacket. Maybe Phil wouldn’t forget about Wrench all that soon…

“You can’t be fucking serious!” Alex exclaimed.

Phil turned around so abruptly, he lost his balance and almost fell off the sofa. “Fuck, oww…”

Wrench looked up as well, ass in the air like a cat in heat. He didn’t seem perturbed at all.

Phil hastily pulled up his pants and buckled them. Wrench lazily rolled onto his back, his dick like a flag mast on his crotch.

“What are you doing here?” Alex mumbled. She moved towards them, exhaustedly letting herself fall onto the sofa by Wrench’s head, but out of his reach.

“I… I missed you guys and…“ Wrench shrugged. His pants were still hanging between his knees. He didn’t seem to mind. He reached out, blindly stretching his arms over his head to touch her.

Alex slapped his prodding hands away.

Phil tossed a cushion at Wrench to preserve some of his modesty. Wrench shot him a glance and pulled up his pants. “Does it still hurt?” He rolled to the side and clumsily reached his finger towards her face, looking up at her.

Alex caught his searching hand in hers. “Don’t touch me…”

“I’m so sorry… I… I didn’t think…”

“Yea, me neither… forget about it… water under the bridge and all… Your balls are alright, I assume?”

“Alright as they’ll ever be…” He made a humping motion in the air. “You can test them, since Phil is obviously done for now?” He looked at Phil with a raised eyebrow.

“Sorry, I was startled… I’m not that into being watched…” Phil muttered, sitting down by Wrench’s feet.

“I fell over your jacket… I didn’t want to interrupt you… In fact… feel free to continue!” Alex got up. “I’ll be in my room, wearing my noise cancelling headphones!”

It was probably stupid letting Phil’s feelings for Wrench awaken again, but he was a grown man. If he wanted his heart broken it was his business. He knew what he was getting himself into with Wrench. He had told her as much. So who was she to try and stop him?

“Alex wait… this isn’t a purely social call, as the kids say…”

Alex stopped. “What is it then?”

“I’m gonna leave the city for a while… I didn’t want to go without saying goodbye… I mean… that was kind of a dick move… one of the bad kind, now that I look back on it…”

Alex raised an eyebrow. She hadn’t expected this. Coming back for some more fucking, absolutely, but coming back to say goodbye… it made her think a little better of Wrench. Seemed like he wasn’t an entirely heartless ass. “That’s very considerate of you…”

“Another one of my very many positive traits.”

Alex snorted.

“So when are you going to leave?”

“Tomorrow…” he slowly said.

Wow, that was soon. Alex swallowed. “Okay…”

“I thought we could… all three of us… share a bed again… That was nice that one time…”

“It was…” Alex admitted. “But we won’t have sex!”

“Yea, Phil told me to stop bugging you…” Wrench rolled his eyes.

“Alright… I’ll go have a shower then and you guys… finish your thing and,” she shrugged, “join me in bed later? Maybe after having a shower as well?” She gave them an awkward thumbs up.

+++

An hour later, Alex had almost fallen asleep, alone, when the door to her room finally opened. She didn’t open her eyes when someone crawled into bed with her. Wrench’s bony arms slithered around her, spooning her from behind. She felt chapped lips against her nape.

Alex moaned softly and snuggled up against him. This was nice. The shower was still running, so Phil would probably join them in a minute or two.

“Why do you have to leave?” Alex muttered, pulling his arms around her tighter.

“I got some shit to do… world domination and all…”

Alex rolled her eyes. “Will you be back?”

“I guess so… but I can’t say for sure…” Wrench’s voice was hoarse. Alex realized he didn’t want to leave. Then why did he?

The door opened and Phil came inside. “Scooch,” he said, crawling into bed behind Wrench. His long arms managed to reach around Wrench so his hands came to rest against Alex’s hips. All three of them touching like a litter of puppies.

It was comfortable. A tad too warm maybe, but since this would be the last time they slept together like that, Alex was more than willing to deal with it.

+++

When she woke up in the morning, Wrench was gone. However he had managed to get out between the two of them Alex wasn’t entirely clear on. Phil lay with his back to her, legs pulled up, hugging himself.

Alex carefully climbed over him and sneaked out of her room. He’d be pissed if she woke him.

Everything was silent in the living room. Only the noises from the street outside filtered in. All traces of Wrench were gone. His clothes, his mask, their toaster… what the fuck?… all that was left of him was the burn mark on the ceiling and two identical boxes on the breakfast counter. Alex went to inspect them and found one labeled Phil, the other one Alex.

She opened hers and took out the note on top.

_Don’t try to call me_  
enjoy the little present   
to remember me (by)   
Sorry for the bad Haiku, I was in a hurry.   
Love you always, Wrench <3

Alex looked in the box and a small grin appeared on her face. Inside was a vibrator, purple, elegant, with a smooth, pleasant surface. She let her fingers glide over it and pushed the button testily. He had even included batteries! That was nice!

For a second she considered opening Phil’s box, but ultimately decided against it. Whatever Wrench had given him was between them and none of her business.

She slowly walked through the kitchen and turned on the coffeemaker, disturbing the silence. Taking a few deep breaths, she leaned against the counter. Wrench was really gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the last chapter of this story. I realize it was probably not very good, but pretty weird (which makes it kinda good in my book! lol), but I had to get it out of my system.   
> Stay tuned for more of Alex's adventures... I got a few ideas popping around inside my head...


End file.
